Goodbye Wishes
I wish we had known each other better. I wish you had liked me. I wish we had spent more time together. I wish I could have been what you needed, what you wanted. I wish I could see you again. Hear your voice and experience your distinctive, unforgetable, intriguing personality. Most of all I wish I had been that special woman to teach you something important and leave a profound lasting impression. I wish I had been the one to touch your soul but all I did was repulse you, inspire hatred. I wish I had the chance to redeem myself, make up for my many frustrating short-comings. Now I never will.
I wish I had approached you differently from the beginning. I should have had the courage to be up front instead of beating around the bush and waiting for you to warm up to me...just from me being around...how foolish and delusional, hopelessly hopeful. Maybe things would have turned out differently if I had just told you how I felt and asked to get to know you better. Maybe you would have harshly rejected me, but at least I'd know and at least I wouldn't have been such a pussy.
I wish I had gotten to know the real you behind the persona. Maybe I was on my way. But then I fucked it up royally. I then proceeded to be angry and bitter, resentful for you hating me. I tried to hate you. I acted out like a child. I could have done better. I should been honest about how I felt. I shouldn't have shrinked away in fear. I should have been strong. Oh how I wish I had been strong... That's what you needed: someone strong who could be firm with you, be at or above your level rather than so far beneath you.
You have your insecurities and I do too. But you are still so high above me. Something about you was magical, bewitching. You promptly stole my heart and over time slowly and painfully tore it apart, and probably without ever knowing.
You touched my soul and left a lasting impression. I can't say yet if it was a good one or a bad one: most likely a mixed one. I will miss you. And though I know you've already forgotten me as I never got to be anything to you, I will never forget you. Even though I never got to really know you, you were a lot to me.
As I sit here, dining on my despair, I wish you goodbye and try to let go of all the delusional hopes you inspired in me. I wish I could have been more than a dissapointment to you. Cheers (and tears).
