Lessons I've Learned (though I may be struggling to integrate)
~*~ We can't all be brilliant. We can't all be smart, funny, clever, witty, creative, beautiful, etc. The best thing one can do is accept themself the way they are-the things they cannot change. Don't try to be anything, just be.
~*~ Don't be quick to judge. People may be smarter than they appear. They may be better people than they appear to be, they might be worth getting to know. First impressions can be decieving and we shouldn't put too much stock in them.
~*~ Don't try to be what you think others want you to be. Be yourself, be genuine. The harder you try to impress people, the less you impress them.
~*~Don't compare yourself to others and beat yourself up over not being like them. You can only be you: you were born you and nobody else. So be the best you you can be.
~*~ No matter how awful and shitty you feel, you will feel better later. You may be surprised at how you bounce back.
~*~You can be the most likeable person on the planet and there will still be someone who doesn't like you. Stop trying to please everyone and be liked by everyone: it's impossible and totally not worth it. When you like yourself and don't need others' approval you will truly shine and attract the right people.
~*~ Don't speak in anger. Always give yourself time to cool down first, and try to see where the other person is coming from-however hard it is. That means having to push your pride aside for a while. If you are too focused on defending yourself, you won't understand or have empathy, and you will likely say or do something you'll regret later. Nothing is ever solved with harsh and hurtful words.
When you direct negativity at someone they shut down and become defensive. Until respect and an open mind is given, nothing will be solved or get better; things will only deteriorate.
This is hard as hell if someone is verbally attacking you and you may want nothing more than to let them have it when rage takes over. The best thing you can do is stop, walk away, and calm down. Try to be objective and patient.
People are such complex creatures with so many defense mechanisms that they really do require a lot of patience and understanding. Having your own issues and defenses makes it extremely difficult. I think that if you really care enough, you can overcome the urge to return that negativity.
~*~ Don't accept things the way they are. Do everything in your power to make them better. Don't stagnate. Don't depend too much on others. Do whatever you can for yourself. Don't wait for things to happen-make them happen.
~*~ Focus should be outward, not inward. By having too much of an inward focus, you become too self-conscious. You over think things until you can't do them. When you think too much about and analyze how you look or how you should act, you lose touch with what is natural and lose yourself. You lose that connection to instinct. I've noticed this seems to impair mental performance. Inward focus or over-analyzing yourself and how you should or are expected to be also creates a lot of anxiety-which further impairs cognitive function and paralyzes you.
~*~ Anger and frustration are often used in place of sadness. Some people avoid sadness because they don't want to/don't know how to be vulnerable. Learning to relingquish control and be vulnerable is important to emotional health and well-being.
